The Horror! The Horror!

The frankly disturbing images above are from Phil Holland's stag weekend in Edinburgh. Although mercifully small they do indeed show everyone's favourite South African all-rounder in a dress. We've had to put up with those legs for years but who knows what heinous crimes the good burghers of Edin have committed to deserve such a visual treat. Now where did I put the mind-bleach?

Bootham Park vs Rose and Crown 28th May 2006 at Heslington

Back Row: Jamie Case, John Patrick, Jonathan Spratley, John Crowe, Pete Mitchell, Tim Wills, Chris Burns. Front Row: Chris Storey, Sam Lingard, Jonny Wilkins, Nathan Ellison.

Bootham Park (249-8) beat Rose & Crown (70) by 179 runs

Match Report by John Patrick

Bootham Park’s first game of the season was at the beautiful Heslington Cricket Ground, home of the Rose and Crown Cricket Club. A sense of relief spread throughout a strong Bootham outfit that had waited three long, rainy weeks to get their season under way. The wicket looked ok and certainly dryer than previous weeks, however there was moisture underneath that provided a predicament for the skipper, Pete Mitchell. Anyway, he called right and chose to bat which seemed not such a bad decision considering the strength of the Bootham Park batting line up and the state of the wicket.

Jonny Wilkins and the skipper himself opened the batting and a good, steady start was made as the runs started to flow from Jonny’s bat. The wicket proved a problem at one end and the skipper soon became a victim of the bad bounce as he was bowled by Bruce Kitchener on just 1. Youngster John Patrick came in at number 3 and he and Jonny pushed the score on nicely. Some beautiful strokes were played and the pair looked comfortable until the day’s comedy run-out happened and Jonny was sent back to the pavilion on 29. JP belted a head-high no-ball straight into the air and ran to the other end, leaving Jonny stranded.

Then came the ever enthusiastic Jonathan Spratley aka ‘Spratters’. Luckily his famous gum-shield wasn't needed as he evaded the 2-bounce yorkers and scored steadily. A big score was mounting and when JP hit another no-ball for 6 over mid wicket it was starting to look too big for the home side. John was then caught on 31 and was replaced by another youngster, Chris Storey. It was fair to say the bowling was a bit erratic and the Bootham lads took great advantage and punished it accordingly. Storey batted well, managing to run out Sam Lingard before being given out LBW for 26. Chris Burns chipped in with a classy 15 and Spratters played well for his 11 before being caught and bowled by Andy Surgenor.

However, the innings of the day was produced by the man with last year’s best batting average (212!), John Crowe. Whilst batting at number 8, John scored an astonishing 95 not out off the last 9.4 overs. He hit boundaries to nearly every part of the ground, walloping 10 fours and 5 sixes and losing a ball in the process. It was an illustrious innings that provided real entertainment to both the batting side and the extremely sporting fielders. That closed the innings on 249-8 off the allocated 40 overs.

A lovely tea was then enjoyed with some friendly banter between both sets of lads and although they faced a huge total, the Rose and Crown boys began their innings with great attitude and enthusiasm. Nathan Ellison opened the bowling along with ‘Mr Enthusiasm’, new vice captain Jamie Case. Like previous seasons, nothing could be done to stop Spratters walking in (or should I say running in) from the boundary whilst fielding at point.

Both lads bowled tidily, sharing 6 wickets between them in the first 11 overs. Nathan picked up 2 wickets, while Jamie claimed 2 in 2 balls and finished with a career best 4 -18. Sam Lingard (2-1) and Chris Storey (1-4) also bowled well, as only Graham Byrne offered any real resistance with 22 not out. Chris Burns wrapped up the innings in the 18th over, adding a good caught-and-bowled to his 2 excellent catches at short midwicket as the home side were cleaned up for a score of 70.

A great start to the season for the Bootham Park outfit that looked sharp in the field and in form with the bat. The wicket wasn’t the best and the Bootham lads coped well and won comfortably. A handy platform was built and I am sure they will only improve more as the season goes on.

Ducks, lakes and arse-brained poltroons

I don't know quite what we've done to deserve this, but Bootham Park seems to be under attack from all sides by human, mechanical and meteorological assailants. All along the road side boundary a charming water feature has developed, complete with resident waterfowl (that brownish blur just left of centre is a mallard).

Unfortunately that's not all. You might think the ongoing battle with knobheads tramping across the square and bored adolescents trying to break into the pavilion was enough to be going on with, but apparently not. Now some arse-brained poltroon has repeatedly driven a heavy vehicle the entire length of the park, churning up a 10-ft wide strip of mud right across our outfield. I don't know who it was, but there are several burly men with cricket bats who'd like a word.

An image of hope and frustration

A box of pristine cricket balls glinting in the few paltry rays of sunshine that have somehow managed to penetrate the dense cloud today. We might even get to use one of them tomorrow! Also nestling in my cricket bag is a brand new bat, knocked in and ready to smite the ball to all parts, or ideally those parts with no fielders. Early signs aren't bad, the key performance indicator of my batting (the on-drive past mid on's right hand) seems to be working well. Whether it will work as well against reasonable bowling on a damp pitch, rather than pie-throwers in the nets is a moot point...

Will it ever stop raining?

I mean, really, how much water can there possibly be left up there? Down south they're imposing hosepipe bans but up here in Yorkshire we're in danger of developing trench foot. We're a month into the cricket season and we haven't had a game yet. Frustrating is not the word. Aaaaagh! is the word.

The Skipper's Bookshelf - Part 1

As predicted, last night's biblical downpourings led to a washout at the Houses of Dring, so we have still not bowled a ball in peevishness, let alone anger. Still, thanks to an early inspection of the cricket lake we at least avoided the standing about in the rain element that usually accompanies cancelled cricket matches.

I thought I'd use this blog to plug a few cricket books that I've enjoyed over the past few years. First up is the book that made me realise that all my hard-won knowledge about the behaviour of cricket balls is fundamentally wrong. The book in question is "Cricket: the Bowler's Art" by Brian Wilkins, a leg-spinner who happens to be an honorary research fellow at the Victoria University of Wellington in New Zealand. What gives this book its unique value is the combination of Dr Wilkins's obvious enthusiasm for the game and his rigorous scientific analysis. Unwilling, like any good scientist, to take anything on trust, he uses a wind tunnel to determine exactly what causes balls to deviate in the air. No type of bowling goes uninvestigated and there are fascinating digressions on everything from the evolution of bowling techniques to the forces that act upon cannonballs.

This really is a wonderful book and I'd recommend that all bowlers and captains (except those we play against, obviously) should give it a look. Unforunately it appears to be out of print at present, although I picked up a copy for a couple of quid on ebay.

Fixtures 2006

This summer's fixtures are (finally) on the Bootham Park Cricket Club website.

Here We Go Again...

Well, it's almost 10pm the night before the first game of the season and after making approximately 4.8 billion phone calls, I've still only got 10 players. It may be academic anyway, considering the downpour in progress right now. I've also learned that next week's game against the Golden Ball has been cancelled. Ho hum.

Still, I managed to get down to Bootham Park this afternoon before the heavens opened and got some good work in on the square. I gave it a mowing and found the permanent markers that show where the pitches start and finish. Every winter these markers (small lengths of pipe set vertically into the ground) get covered over by soil and grass. Consequently, every spring we have to find them again.

For years finding the markers was like a particularly irritating pagan ritual. Pete Trout would wander about the square saying things like "It's 6ft from here, or is it 4ft?" and "Has anybody seen my phone?", while the rest of us poked the turf furiously with screwdrivers in the forlorn hope we might hit something useful. After about a hundred years of this, I hit upon the ruse of writing down the measurements and drawing up a rudimentary map. This has greatly improved the process, and slightly reduced the frequency of people calling Pete Trout a stupid bugger.

Not content with having an idea once, this year I've refined it yet further by the addition of a tape measure that's actually long enough for the job (100ft). Traditionalists will be reassured to hear that the process still involves large amounts of stabbing the ground and swearing.

It's here!

The season is finally upon us next weekend. We'll be taking the field at Dringhouses CC, to be harried by their legions of 12 year old pace bowlers as we try to remember which end of the bat to hold. Looks like the Crowemeister will be biffing on their behalf, but if we all play with the discipline and application Drifting Kev displayed in the nets on Sunday, we'll be home for half past three with a sore foot.